A. Relax. You're in The Omniversal Bar, the center of Biku and Johinsa's Mortal Kombat universe.

Q. I'm in what? Who are you quacks?

A. I'm Biku, and this is Johinsa (hello) and a few years ago we watched a movie called Mortal Kombat--

Q. Man, I loved that movie.

A. Yes. Well. That's good. Don't interrupt.

Q. Sorry.

A. Anyway, we watched the movie, and we were very intrigued. And we started writing MK fanfiction, and a nominal past-time grew, and grew, and grew, and before we knew it, we had a full-blown universe with new characters, places, backstories, histories, chronologies... we gathered it all together, and created the Bar. Does that answer your question?

Q. Not really. Who are these new characters you're talking about?

A. Ah, for that you'll have to read the stories yourself. To help you keep track, we have complied The Celestial Index, which is sort of like an encyclopedia of the characters. But you should definitely read the stories first.

Q. Any recommendations?

A. Besides a comfortable chair? That's the major one. The next step would be to begin with Morturite Salutant. It's the Starting-Off Point (although not the first chronologically; that's right, we have prequels.) If you get lost, you can check out The Information Booth, set up for just such an occasion.

Q. Wow. Thank you.

A. Our pleasure. Anything else that you'd like?

Q. Not really. Well, I would like to say that you two are on crack.

A. You'd be surprised how often we hear that. But we're not actually on any sort of drugs, which some people seem to find scarier.

Q. I certainly do.

A. Feel free to. Enjoy the show.